Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sal II: With A Vengeance.

"The other day my wife decides to have a yard sale and sell some knick knacks and shit like that so she can buy more of those fuzzy velour jumpsuits things that women wear. So we get out the lawn chairs and I'm sitting there and this one guy walks on my grass and steps on my friggin' eggplant garden so I turn around and I says 'Ey, watch it there, Bub.' He tramples my plants like a dopey elephant fuck and doesn't buy nothin'. Bootagots. I swear, I was gonna bash the his face in with my shoe. Get the fuck out of here with that Jew bastard face of yours. Yea anyway, so then I'm sittin' there like a schmuck for another hour and a half and this guy comes up and takes up two spots. So I says 'Move your car! Two spots you got now.' You believe this? Big ass you got. Take a hike. I guess he heard me because he didn't buy nothin'. Oh well. Pissah."