Friday, September 11, 2009

I Dream Of Food Stamps.

I do. I stay up every night imagining perusing down each aisle of every grocery store in my neighborhood and grabbing any item I desire. Like name brand ketchup. And V8.
Then I go into the "What if?" portion of my subconscious.
"You can't buy gum with that?"
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't qualify as food."
"Huh?"
"It's not food."
"You chew it. It has flavor. It's food."
"Yeah but you don't swallow it."
"I've heard people swallow it. Kids do it all the time. I've seen it happen."
"No."
"Fine."