Thursday, November 5, 2009

Monday, November 2, 2009

So This Is the Newest Thing In Fashion: The Harem Pant.

According to the photos, there's already been three whole people resorting themselves to this.
Looks like your vagina just gave out and quit and remained at knee level.

I Just Can't Shut the Fuck Up Today.

So I bought one of those sexy-slutty-Halloween-costumes-in-a-plastic-bag that no one is ever allowed to try on. It was 65% off and it was patent leather. Thus, I needed it. It's of a French Maid and I'm not going to post pictures because this isn't MySpace and this does nothing for my boobs. Anyway, it came with a doofy hat thing and I feel as though I look more like a whore chef than anything. I don't know why I waste my money on such shit. I could've bought like 45 yogurts instead.
I wonder how completely awkward it would be to bring up as much cringe worthy shit to the counter person at Rite Aid? Like super plus absorbency tampons, a pregnancy test, 36 count adult size suppositories, Vagisil, hot when you blow on it lube and a buy one get one free enemas. There are times in life where you need to purchase one of those things, in which case you sort of look around the bend and see if anyone from High School, an ex, or someone you would sleep with is near your vicinity. Then you quickly grab your item and conceal it with your coat/bag/US Weekly magazine and run to the oldest, most senile looking counter woman who you know can't read the label because the letters are too small. Then you bring it home and hide it in your sock drawer. Except for the tampons. Now imagine all of that? I should do that and then attempt to return everything the next day and see how awkward life can get.

Candice Engel bleaching the bathtub on a Friday night. Ow!
Fri at 11:39pm via Facebook for BlackBerry.