Sunday, March 4, 2012

Hangover 3.


The cast of the Hangover Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, and Bradley Cooper are seated at a conference table with the head of Warner Brothers.

Head of Warner Brothers Guy:
Hello boys. I know you’re wondering why we called you in today. We have some exciting news to share. Would you all care for a drink?
The cast look at one another and shrug.
Bradley:
Sure. But just one drink.
Fast forward to the next day. They are now in a hotel bathroom. We see a blow up doll wearing a wig, a chicken running freely, smoke coming out a couch and a naked woman leaving the room. Each of the men slowly wake up from their drunken stupor.
Bradley:
Where are we?
Zach:
I think it’s happened again.
Bradley:
Oh Zach, your eyebrows are gone. And your hair has chunky, blonde highlights. And you have a candy necklace. And you’re wearing a leotard. And a sailor hat. And your arm is missing. And so is your foot. And you have jaundice. And you’re wearing knee guards. And a blouse.
Zach:
Oh? You look the same. You never have any physical damage. It’s not fair. And your aviator sunglasses are always intact.
Bradley:
Wait, we always seem to be missing a friend. That’s our main plot, right? Where’s that one guy who never got to be on a major magazine cover like we did?

(The two scramble and check the bathroom where Ed Helms is lying on the floor. He is now awakened and turns to face the other two.)

Zach:
Ed! Oh shit, what did you do?
Ed:
What? Is it worse than a missing tooth and tribal tattoo on the entire left side of my face?

(Ed looks into the mirror and gasps when he sees his reflection. He has underwent cosmetic surgery and now has silicone lip enhancement, an eyebrow lift and a chin implant.)
 
Ed:
(Screaming) Ah! What the hell happened last night?!

Zach:
I think we signed on for a another sequel.
Ed:
Oh no! Don’t I have enough money so I don’t have to do this again? Can’t I get a role in some other film?
Bradley:
Where is the animal that we somehow obtain that doesn’t belong to us that Zach gets emotionally attached to and we nearly lose our lives over every time?
(A lamb stumbles across the hotel floor.)

Zach:
Oh, here it is. Ok it’s a lamb this time. Who does this lamb belong
 to?
(Zach notices something moving on the couch in the corner.)

Zach:
Oh my God, why is Chevy Chase on our couch?
Chevy Chase:
That’s my lamb.
Ed:
Holy shit it IS Chevy Chase! What are you doing here?
Chevy Chase:
Don’t you know Warner Brothers ruins everyone’s career by making sequels and sequels to more sequels. Look at the National Lampoon Vacation movies. You’ll see. You’re going down from here.
Zach:
Ah! Chevy Chase is right. What are we doing?!

The End.